One hundred-Eighteen

LECHE!!!!!!!

lmaoo... I'm still laughing at the stupid comment of Raque and Mr. Jack Sinister (which i have yet to meet). Sometimes I wonder if my cousin is right in the head... but other times I'm just like.. if she doesn't do things this way, then it's not her. ANYWAYS.. right now im currently doing my hair! THIS ALWAYS GETS ME IN A BAD FREAKING MOOD!!!!! maybe it's because of the fact that she has no consideration of me being a human and that I feel pain. She thinks I'm a Dexter or something!! I wanted to go darker but of course... she always wants to do what she wants!! So i got highlights. I don't worry cause fuck it, my hair is gonna fade out in about 2-3 weeks and I re-do it.

I'm really suppose to be studying pharm.. but as you know.. that is not happening either. I've just been extremely busy with everything lately. And if I'm not busy, then I'm really tired. Thank goodness I finally have an insurance. I went to do a checkup the other day and he just asked a lot of questions and very little assessment. I am no doctor but I am in the dental hygiene program and I do know a lot of facts. I do know you are suppose to take my temp. and state it in my chart and not make up a random number (98.6F) just because.. what if I really had a fever? And what's up with the medical assistant not knowing what Albuterol is for. UGH! I don't have any luck with doctors.. hopefully the OB/GYN I'm going to next week is good. I really need questions answered in that category and I just want to feel the way a patient is suppose to.

Any who boy toy and I... yes we're back together but it sure doesn't feel that way. He's phone got disconnected and I haven't spoken to him in almost 2 days. We've been playing phone tag. Finally a little while ago he called me just to tell me hi and that he's going to play baseball. UM okkk correct me if I'm wrong but after a break aren't you suppose to feel relieved.. happy... innocent.... fresh start? I feel like this break didn't do anything. If anything make us much more distant than what we were. I really hate this... because he used to be the one person I can tell everything to.. and now I spend the majority of the time bickering to peeps about us. That's not healthy either but I need to talk to someone and about something.

On sunday is his birthday and we haven't even spoken about what he wants to do. I don't know what I am going to do about us anymore.. and then I feel like all the time I'm just making excuses for him to do what he's doing but I don't even know what he's thinking in he's head and if he even cares about anything. I can only stay positive for so long. And I cannot keep giving him the benefit of the doubt when he's not proving anything.

And then I got other people saying they want me as copilot. IM JUST VERY CONFUSED!

I need to stop writing before it becomes and even BIGGER issue.

P.S

We painted Monchi's nails... he was so calm and stylish afterwards. I swear he is the best dog ever. I think thats one of the reasons why these issues have been so okay to deal with. He is the one I come home to and fills me up with kisses. Baby he's my A thing lol! he's all i ever wanted. We can do it real big.. bigger than u ever done it.