One Hundred Thirty-Two

I don't know why I always feel like i have to explain myself. I see people always doing what they do just because and no questions as to why or what triggered them to do it. Yet i'm always freaking feel the need to explain myself. I think that can be a good and bad quality. Good in the medical field when your explaining to your patient what procedure your doing. I've noticed it causes the patient to be more at ease. But my personal life.... why do i get so involved with people? Why must i welcome them into my thoughts and feelings if they don't do the same?

And you thought I wasn't going to post a pic?

Ha H aHa Ha! today was Jaaziel's birthday. I went to the movies with Jessica to watch Funny People.. which really isn't that funny. I cried. Reminded me of someone I really didn't want to get reminded of. And to tell you the truth it made me want to know what he's up to. GOSH

Any who today Incubus was in my head the whole entire day.. and they helped me get a whole other definition to the song Dig. I guess I had to wait till this feeling happened to me in real life in order for it to understand it. "If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering, the better part of me, Sing this song, remind me that we always have each other, when everything else is gone.

Well lately the boy toy hasn't been acting like himself. I swear he changed on me. He doesn't believe these changes are visible, but only I can feel them happening. A lot of things he used to do he now doesn't do. And like seriously i miss them. Bro this guys use to be the one who made my tummy ache of all the butterflies he would fill inside me. And now he's just the guy who gets me mad and who's jokes I don't understand. He himself has had a song stuck with him and one of the versus is.. "forever my fiance." So am I ever going to get any more serious with him? Is this it? For ever will I be treated this way by him? Because it kinda sucks and I can't get used to this. Something has to happen.