one Hundred Eighty-Eight

Welcome to the Jungle.

One of my fantasies is to find a deserted Island

and be able to make up my own rules.

No fighting

No wars

Just peace and love

am I crazy to just want good things with no catch?

I'm sleeping over Lellanis today because at 3 am

we will be heading to DISNEY!

After a loooong and hectic week,

I deserve to see Mickey and Co.

You know the best part about Disney is to go and meet the characters.

I love taking pictures with them and just being a kid all over again.

I loooove going to Minnie's house.

Any who Lellanis broke her promise.

She said I will sleep with Gaby but here I am in the play room

playing house by myself.

(when I should be sleeping)

lol

I guess she knew I would wake her up just to play.

She has all these fun toys!!

As you can see she has a house

and facing the house, she has a kitchen

(which I cooked spaghetti on)

delicious!

I don't want to grow old.

Why can't we grow young?

I read this poem once that was beautifully written

Even though now that I think about it,

it wasn't a poem...

I am going to search for it and see if I can post it up here

brb....

ok so I couldn't find it.

But it's about life and how it's lived backwards.

So the author states how we should be born old and work our way young.

You get out of the senior home because you are able to take care of yourself.

You start your first job with a Rolex because of your retirement money.

You get kicked out of school because you can't read anymore.

Live your childhood years

enter the world of gooey placenta

and finally

leave to be remembered as an orgasm.

I wish I can find it one day.

I enjoyed reading it...

shhheesssh I wish that was how life works.

Who knows maybe when we die we do it all over again but backwards

like the essay/poem.

lol

Whatever I should get some rest..

Tomorrow is a big day.

By the way I will be getting my scholarship money/award tomorrow too.

And Saturday is the day I present the table clinic.

Wish me lots and lots of luck.

I will need it.

One Hundred Eighty-Seven

I got this today @ FedEx

I finally returned my Helio phone

and now this other new one is causing me the same problem!

And not to mention I think the reason for the pain in my thumb is because of it.

I seriously need to stop texting.

Any who, when you open this card it reads

"Hope your insurance offers better coverage!

Get well soon"

You know I had to get it for my little munchkin.

He's doing a lot better

but he's still not 100%

He is running and acting like his old self

but he gets tired quickly.

YEAHHH

RIGHT

He's my working out buddy

He keeps me going and non stop running.

I need to keep up with him.

One Hundred Eighty-Six

So today I heard a Pink song I've never heard of ever.

And it goes a little something like this:

"I'm going to California

To resurrect my soul

The sun is always shinning

Or at least that's what I'm told

Going to California

There's a better life for me

Going to California

I'll write and tell you what I see

Going to California

Somebody say a prayer for me"

Yeah, definitely my theme song.

This is why I love Pink

She always makes a song just for me

-Family Portrait

-Most Girls

-Please Don't Leave Me

-Just Like a Pill
-Who Knew
and the list goes on...
I freaking love her.

on my way to Wendys to get some nuggets

I came across this beauty....

Today was clinic day and I haven't seen a patient in a while.
Or at least it felt that way.
Last week on Tuesday I was clinic monitor
and on Thursday it was OSCE.
My thumb is hurting...
It's been hurting for a while.
Why?
I have no idea.
But what I do know is that it was the worst day for it to hurt.
I scaled my father,
which he was classified as moderate but
DAYUMMMMM
my hands want to shout in agony
and say he's heavy.
It was terrible
and then to top it off.
I saw my special needs this afternoon.
This patient is special needs because they suffer from
Muscular Dystrophy
This patient cannot take care of their own teeth
and is wheelchair bound.
The whole cleaning was done standing up.
OUCH!
I am not lefty but today the only time I could have taken advantage of the chair
was during the left side of the patient.
It was an experience I will never forget.
Tears came out because I was sooo frustrated.
The patient was discontent because the procedure could not be completed today.
So I rescheduled them not next week but the following.
Give my back some rest
and my thumb has to stop aching because it's making me
work differently.
I think it's because of too much texting.
I must reduce.
It hurts a lot.
I have to mention that my new professor helped a lot.
I underestimated her because of what people say about her...
but she helped out a lot
and the BEST part was
she congratulated me!
She said I did a good job.
You don't hear that too much in our program.
You always here a lot of negative but seldom do you hear you did a good job.
So I also want to thank her
for making my day a little smoother.
She also hugged me...
lol
I think I needed that too.
I can't remember when I received a hug.
I've just been a green monster lately.
Gosh
I miss hugs
and kisses
and just doing nothing but talking
well and sometimes more than talking
lol
Now I know the reason for my green!!!
I'm overdue for some..........
LMAOOOO!
Tomorrow is a new day,
closer to Orlando.
I have to do so much tomorrow.

One Hundred Eighty-Five

lol

no she is not selling

I repeat she is just supporting me.

We I mean I sold cookies today.

I sold a total of seventy something dollars.

More money for the Orlando trip.

We've been doing so good @ fundraising

I have to give myself a pat on the back.

::patting back::

So I woke up today and I remembered my dream.

Its kinda freaky.

I dreamt that I lost two of my teeth.

But they weren't permanent,

they were my deciduous teeth.

Letters K and L

for those of you that fall short on this term its my

last two teeth in the bottom left.

Anyways, they fell out as I thrust my tongue around them.

And when I picked them out, I checked them and they were full of amalgams.

It was a weird dream.

And supposedly I grew up with a superstition that when you dream about fallen teeth,

that means that someone in the family is going to pass on.

::crossing fingers hoping that's not true::

***

I saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

Super cute, I cried!

But I always freaking cry so whatever.

Today was not such a good day.

Then again... it was a Monday.

Blah.

One Hundred Eighty-Four

Recuerda por un beso mi coranzoncito tuvo una obsesión

Cuando Volverás,hasta hermanita pregunto?

Enséñame olvidar, Si todavía me amas,

Seré tu angelito aunque la boda sea mañana...

YESSIR!

Hunting for good Aventura tickets...

wish me luck!!

Today is the day I acknowledge that I will never ever get married.

Why on earth do I need a man when I can do everything he can?

What on earth does a man have that I need?

companionship I have that with my dog.

Like the infamous lead singer of Sublime, Bradley once said:

"Living with Louie Dog's that only way to stay sane"

sex?

pssh

So that they can come before me?

To tell me that they love me?

ummmm I have family and friends

and once again my dog gives me that too.

I've never been so frustrated with the opposite sex before.

Two members of the opposite sex reside in the same household as I:

My brother and father.

you think they lend me a hand?

it's not even about the money because I could have just taken it to a auto place

But it's the simple fact I've had oil there and I didn't want it to go to waste.

Anyone can give me money..

but can you give me time from your day?

I had a boyfriend for 7 months

who actually went to mechanic school or whatever the fuck it's called

you think he bother to change my oil?

I told him plenty of times to do it

I'm not going to nag so when I saw he wasn't taking action

I took it and paid $60

that's another thing...

you go to a auto place and see you're a girl and you're by yourself

they automatically think you're dumb.

I hate double standards.

What makes you think you're so much better than me?

I woke up today googled how you change your car oil

simple steps:

-raise your car (they suggested the portable wheel ramps to be the most stable)

-unscrew the plug to drain out the old oil

-unscrew the filter (HARDEST PART EVER)

I guess the last person to do it tighten it all the way

-wipe out the excess oil around your car

-screw the new filter (before you do this lubricate it with the new oil)

-screw back the plug

-use a funnel in order to put the new oil

THERE YOU HAVE IT

with no help from the opposite

all I got was:

"you're not strong enough"

"why don't you just take it to a mechanic"

"why can't your brother do it"

"you're going to hurt yourself"

"is it because you don't have money, I can lend you some"

I swear to you I cried during the process because all I got was negative comments.

It's sad that people think this way...

seriously my ego is way up there because once again

I proved everyone wrong.

FUCK everyone!

With no help from anyone

This woman changed the oil to her car.

So like I said, I will never get married.

No man will ever give me the type of amenities I need.

All I ever needed is to be understood

I thought I had that...

but I thought wrong.

To to everyone with a penis in between their legs

you can go suck one.

And no I am not lesbian so don't think that either.

I'm just independent and the need of the opposite sex is not needed over here.

One Hundred Eighty-Three

The truth is hiding in your eyes

And its hanging on your tongue

Just boiling in my blood,

But you think that I can't see

What kind of man that you are

If you're a man at all

Well, I will figure this one out on my own

(I'm screaming "I love you so..." But my thoughts you can't decode)

And the lesson for today is concerning envy:

"Envy shoots at others, and wounds itself."

That's all I will say about tonight which will be recorded in my head for ever.

I never thought someone so close can carry so much envy.

It's a chronic disease that can lead to death.

If I can give you one last advice it will be to pray to free yourself from it.

You cannot be happy and have envy at the same time.

Its something that can eat you up as a whole.

Trust me you cannot live like that.

Your strikes lead you out of my life for good.

Never do I want to hear from you again.

You destroyed this friendship

and witnesses were there to know I did nothing but try

and relieve the situation.

My white flag is waving as I surrender.

This friendship cannot last because envy is contagious

and I do not want any of it.

Leave me how I am.

You might not think it's the proper way of living.

But I've been doing just fine.

Your sick twisted ways will always leave you in the dark.

And you will never learn until you admit you're wrong.

I cannot help you anymore

because every time I do,

it becomes a problem of my own.

I have to much on my plate to drag your issues too.

One Hundred Eighty-Two

Since I have better news I will write it on top of the depressing one.

I just got home and read the letter that notified me I won the scholarship I applied for a couple months back. I will be receiving the award/check next week Friday when I arrive at Orlando. I am so excited about this... Next week is going to be full of mixed emotions. I will be presenting my table clinic (which I haven't practice for). I will be receiving this check of $500. I will be going to Disney's theme parks, including Epcot which I've never been to. The people that I will be going with are the closest friends I've had in hygiene except for Jessica because her mom happens to get married the same weekend. It kind of sucks that I am not going to be a part of the wedding but she knows I would if I could. I'm really glad my mood is changing. I've had a sucky week. Thinking about a certain somebody that I know doesn't think of me anymore. I don't understand why on Earth I am getting the depressed symptoms now that it's been more than a month. I mean I've been pretty strong about it so why change now? I hope it was just a phase... maybe because I could be getting my monthly friend. Speaking of which, I haven't gotten her in a while and I missed my gyno appointment today. I'm telling you, I've been on a row this week. I'm just glad it's over and done with and now it's the weekend so I get to soak up and relax before the next one comes.

So I went to Olive Gardens with Leslie and Jessica today and I am still super duper stuffed from all the bread/salad/pasta!!! Oh the many carbs I devoured. Not to mention the margarita as well. Well the napkin in my chin was because every time I grabbed a spoonful of pasta, it never failed to drip on my chin lol. We couldn't stop cracking up. At least we worked out our abs from too much laughter. Any who I got back to Jessica's and started feeling stupid and blah....

"Well my diamond mean............

Ok I like diamonds and like I said it takes a diamond to cut another diamond meaning it needs something as strong as its self to bring it down to size I and I feel that I need someone just as strong as me to cut me down so am basically looking for another diamond

Make sanse?

Sense*"

***********

So to his definition, was I never his diamond?

Was I never as strong as him in order to share our lives together?

Is there a better diamond for his lifestyle?

Will there ever be one for me?

I don't want a new one...

I just want to finish cutting this one.

I was almost done and about to wear it as a shiny diamond ring on the finger next to the pinky that runs a vein directly to my heart.